MONDAY NOVEMBER 2 : ISH 6, AWAY
THE TEAM: Justin 'Pigman' Gayner, Campbell 'Braveheart' McKellar, Mark 'Tartan Topspin Terror' Fawbert
Playing ISH 6 is like reading one of your favourite books or taking a shit.
You know what's going to happen, but the ending is always a pleasant surprise.
In this case, the book (or the turd) is ISH 6's Old Man Leo. Although, calling him a faeces is completely and utterly wrong as he's one of the nicest guys on earth. He always brings biscuits (digestives)and shakes your hand after every match. And he always says well done which is lovely.
The thing is that he's 109 years old and although he clearly trains in the gym, he moves really slowly. Gracefully, but dead slow. Like an old ping pong playing pink tortoise.
Now Old Man Leo, as nice as he is, normally brings a load of fucking aggressive twats who just want to smash the hell out of the ball.
This time he brought Desmond Douglas who was incredibly nice, and Chinese Warrior who didn't say much but was clearly a good bloke.
Unfortunately, Douglas and Chinese Warrior were also really fucking good at table tennis. Like serious paid up motherfocking ping pong ninjas. Despite getting beat, Campbell shone during the evening producing some of the most exciting table tennis the club has ever seen. His looped forehand is a truly exceptional work of art and he should sell it for £9.99 in petrol stations. Sadly it wasn't enough and we got beaten comprehensively.
The most shocking news is that one of us even got beaten by Old Man Leo. This has never happened before so he probably went home and pleasured himself for the first time in years. Which is good. But what goes on tour stays on tour and this club is all about unity so it doesn't matter who got beaten by him. The inner pain will be quite enough.
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