BAD KARMA

"Who are ya, who are ya?..."...was the chant emanating from the Karamrama band wagon as the top of the Central London 3rd division outfit arrived for a match-up against an ISH 6 team. 90 minutes later, they still had no idea who they were, but the Karma Crew knew that they were no longer top of the league as their unbeaten run came to a shuddering halt in a 9-1 battering.
The opposition were 3 old Chinese guys with unpronounceable names and impenetrable games. They looked so old and infirm, they could have learned to play in the school games room with chairman Mao. But it was the Karma boys and girls who were taking a Great Leap Backwards as the square paddled, pen grippers dished out the ping pong equivalent of water torture. Captain Super George got us on the board, but couldn't loosen up his forehand loop to bring his power game to bear on the old fellas. The Tartan Terror had the sort of night that makes you wonder why you're in a drafty hall, being humiliated and degraded. He got the sort of treatment that Max Mosely would have to pay a fortune for in certain West End establishments.  The only honour that was earned for the evening was from the our Catalan debutant, who put on a defiant and brave display. Going quickly 2-0 in the first match and looking outclassed, Nuria showed Nadal like grit to claw her way back to be serving at 9-9 in the fifth. Unfortunately nerves took hold and she was edged out. Similarly in her last game, she was staring at 2-1 down and 7-1 down and dragged herself back to 10-10 in the fifth, to once again succumb to the "yips". The ashen look on her face spoke volumes and only some pints of lager and warm words of comfort  from her team mates in the pub afterwards seem to bring the colour back to her cheeks. Nonetheless, she can be proud of her efforts. A great debut.

All clouds have a silver lining and the early finish gave us the opportunity to decamp next door to watch the first team. Now the first team don't get much of a word on this forum, because unlike the Seconds, their paddles can do the talking. On walking into the room, it was apparent that something was going down. Something of an altogether different nature. The smell of sweat and testosterone was prevalent and there was blood on the walls. This was ping pong violence. This was Fight Club with ping pong paddles. I have seen World Championships and Dirty Dozen steel cage matches in New York, and this was up there. Three young lads in Karma colours were having a paddle to the death with three unbelievably talented boys from ISH. The young Karma lads played like Gladiators and edged a match of epic quality 6-4. A "big up" to Helly for nurturing  and managing such a talented team. In an era when every media report tells us that kids are all wearing hoodies whilst shooting and stabbing each other, it was great to see 6 young lads assault each other armed with paddles and ping pong balls. Grudging handshakes were made and muttering of a return match revenge was heard. We should be selling front row tickets for that.

A mixed night for the West London ad agency.....another match this week gives us a chance to get the band wagon back on the road.